A Woman's Place in the World
by Stella Ramsaroop
zone3
Where is my place? I grew up in the Midwest, so that very familiar
phrase rushes back to me like a crashing wave – “the woman’s place is in
the home.” It washes over me and leaves me feeling small and ashamed that
I was born a female. I can still see the many faces I’ve heard say it,
even my own family. I can also still feel the gut-wrenching anger that
would well up in my stomach each time I heard this stifling phrase. Even
as a young girl I wondered why so little was expected from me in life
while the future of all the little boys around me was looked upon with
great expectation. It made me mad. I just couldn’t resign my life to such
a mundane existence. How many other little girls have heard this
phrase and felt angst from its implication? How many have succumbed to the
resignation I fought so hard to evade? The degradation of being slighted
in life and the victimization that comes from stolen opportunity are the
types of feelings I dealt with growing up in a fundamental evangelical
church in the Midwest. It was a part of my everyday life. We were told
this way of thinking was suppose to be normal, but it never felt normal to
me. It always felt wrong.I often think about the millions of other women
who were slighted throughout history. Can you imagine how much more
advanced the world would be today if women had always been given the same
opportunities as men to advance the areas of medicine, philosophy,
architecture and politics? After all, two heads are better than one. And
two sexes are definitely better than one. How sad that one half of the
world’s potential has been hidden away for most of recorded history. The
old adage mandating a good wife to be “barefoot and pregnant” is even more
humiliating. It reduces women to nothing more than a tool used for
producing a son to carry on the family name or for working in the field.
However, I can see why men felt so strongly about keeping their women
restricted to the home. First, the man obviously wanted cheap labor,
someone to clean the house, do the laundry, raise the kids (since he was
never around to help), cook the meals, and a sundry of other household
chores that would otherwise be his responsibility. The only expectation
placed on him was to put a roof over the woman’s head and food in her
stomach and she would do the rest – even satisfy his sexual needs. He was
not required to satisfy her though. Since she was his property, he could
treat her anyway he wanted. Can you imagine what the world would be like
if women were as sexually satisfied as the men? Think about the
clear-headed confidence that follows a man around all day after he has had
sex. Oh, that there will one day be as many women walking around with that
same clear-headed confidence that comes from sexual satisfaction!
Secondly, by keeping the little lady busy at home “barefoot and pregnant,”
the natural result was her continued ignorance about the real world. This
insured a timid approach to travel, education, politics and working
outside the home. If the woman had shoes, that meant she had the first
tool necessary for walking outside the doors of her home. If she got far
enough without the aid of her husband, she might actually realize her
potential and not want to stay at home everyday while he pursues his own
endeavors. God forbid that he’d be expected to share the workload of the
house. Can you believe this type of thought is still practiced in some
stricter religious circles? Even today in the 21st century! However, most
of the insidious accusations of feminine inferiority have all but faded.It
is now a generally accepted concept that a woman can hold her own ground
in the big bad world. So much positive change has come about in a very
short time. Most women are no longer afraid to leave their homes and even
hold down jobs of their own. They are retail managers, grocery associates,
restaurant workers, and waitresses. They are also lawyers, doctors,
professors and business executives. In fact, many women work as many hours
outside the home as their male counterparts. Not all has changed though.
Many women in the workplace still come home and do most, if not all, of
the household chores. They are still the ones cooking the dinner, cleaning
the kitchen, tending to the kids, washing the laundry, sweeping and
mopping the floors, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. Regardless of the time
she spent at work that day, be it four hours or ten hours, she still
returns to the cheap labor expectations of the home. The acceptance of
true equality is slow in coming, even from the most enlightened of men –
and women. When a man expects a woman to do all or even most of the
housework, it is a result of a learned behavior that has not been adjusted
to the new standards by which women are now measured. The fact that the
woman allows this type of behavior to continue without expecting change
shows a lack of enlightenment as well. In the end, true equality will be
recognized by the equal distribution of rights and freedoms, as well as
roles and expectations. The assumption that women are equal simply because
they can vote and work is based on the shallow idea that we should be
happy since our situation is considerably better than it was a century
ago. If “better” was the goal, then yes, we should be happy. However,
equality was the goal and that goal remains the same today.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Stella Ramsaroop is a western world traveler, a life-long student, a
wanna-be stargazer, and an Aquarius in all its forms (if you know what
that means). Her articles emphasize the importance of continued
development and protection of gender equality in all aspects of a woman's
life.
Stella is also the proud mother of four almost-grown children with her
"husband" Paul, whom she married almost 20 years ago.Visit Stella’s
Website.
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